Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem
Hazrat Maulana Yunus Patel Saheb (Rahmatullahi 'alayh)
Sibling Rivalry is a common scenario in almost every
home. Arguments and fights are everyday occurrences amongst brothers and
sisters – to the extent that arguments often lead to physical fighting. This
kind of behavior and response are very much against the disposition of a noble
person, let alone a Muslim.
We should learn to adopt the noble character of
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) in our dealings with all – including our
brothers and sisters. It must not be that “we give as good as we get”; rather we should overlook, forgive and show
to them, beautiful, noble conduct. We should offer a beautiful example for them
to emulate.
If we have knowledge of Deen, then our home and family
life becomes the setting which tests our practical expression of that Ilm
(knowledge) and Akhlaaq (character).
We either give into nafs and shaytaan and show our brothers, sisters and
parents that we are like cats and dogs fighting – and are closer to being
animals than humans, or we rise above the indiscretions and mistakes of our
family members, adopting noble character and speech, and practicing on the Ayah:
وَلَا تَسْتَوِى الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا
السَّيِّئَةُ ط اِدْفَعْ بِالَّتِىْ هِىَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِىْ
بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهٗ
عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهٗ وَلِىٌّ حَمِيْمٌ ◌
“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be
equal. Repel (the evil) with that which is better (to be patient, forgive,
etc.), then verily, he between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as
though he was a close friend.”
[Surah Fussilaat 41: 34]
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam) presented
for us a beautiful and perfect precedent and example in teaching and moulding
his two grandsons, Hasan and Husain.
He taught them to respect
and love each other. He taught them
that the younger of them should serve the elder, due to the elder deserving
respect. …Khidmah (serving others) naturally creates Muhabbat (Love) and how
perfect a prescription for all siblings, in so far as creating a peaceful and
happy environment at home. This is why we find in the lives of these two
grandsons, that Hazrat Husain (Radhiyallahu ‘anhu) used to respect Hazrat Hasan (Radhiyallahu ‘anhu) and carry out his
requests willingly.
Of course, in the light of the above, the older
brother or sister should not think that he or she can just demand, dictate and
nag. If we are older, we have a responsibility to show good character, worthy
of our brothers and sisters to follow. There
has to be courtesy, mercy, compassion and love for the younger siblings. A balance needs to be created – where there
is humility on both sides. Sayyidina Hasan (Radhiyallahu ‘anhu) showed
great love and compassion for Sayyidina Husain (Radhiyallahu ‘anhu).
If one sibling has to advise the other with regard to
something – for example, food, clothing, room, studies, salaah, etc. then it
should be said once only and politely. Thereafter, leave it to
the parents or teachers to solve the problem.
If children were trained to emulate the grandsons of
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam), then there would be no bickering,
quarreling and fighting. Home will be a haven and all parents will be at peace
– with few complaints against their children.
May Allah Ta’ala grant us all the understanding and
the Taufeeq of practising.
